Thank You, Forty.

Forty years of Lisa. Forty birthdays. Forty times to celebrate MY life. Some have been with family, some have been with friends, some both, but all of them have been with ME. Which is why I’m so passionate about loving yourself. It doesn’t matter who is with you or who isn’t – YOU are, 100% of the time. I’m not here to sound perfect or like I’m the unprofessional advice giver – I just want to bring you content that is inspiring that will encourage you to love yourself and others more and better.

Some of my posts will be long - heck my FB posts are usually longer than this. But today I want to keep it short. Thank you year 40. You were marvelous.

Thank you for those of you that have loved me for many of those forty years, for those who have loved me just a few of those forty years and welcome to those who have just begun! 😉  🖤 lj

Why Be Your Own Jones?

This all started with Monday. Not just any Monday. One particular Monday in March 2016. It was the International Day of Happiness. I recorded a video and challenged my friends on FB to do something else to make someone else happy. It was actually spawned out of a post 2 years prior where I went around with a board and asked my friends to write down what made them happy and take a picture with it for me to post. I loved the smiles on my friends’ faces when they talked about and wrote what made them happy. Fast forward 2 years and my challenge to do something to make others happy became a challenge from a friend of mine to do a video every Monday that was “motivational.” Well. I took that advice. And for 3 years I did a video every single week, usually on Monday, unless it happened to be an extra Monday of a Monday, (you know those kind). For 3 years I talked about my life, what I was learning, experiencing and how I was trying to grow to be the best version of myself. And then out of nowhere, my relationship life changed and I completely pulled away from all forms of social media. I felt defeated and let the opinions of a few people matter to me more than they ever should have. I decided to stay away for a while. And then my life changed again by finding out I was going to be bringing a life into the world. I slowly made my way back on to socials, but I still wasn’t my old self. I came to terms with the life I had and it not looking like the life I had pictured. (And went to a lot of therapy - which I HIGHLY recommend to everyone and anyone, period.) Part of me was happy to not be the old version of myself - I was now a mom and in love with this little human. Why would I want the old version of me back that didn’t have this little man in it? But there was also part of me that mourned the loss of the old Lisa. She didn’t care about opinions of others and then for so long was consumed with wondering what other people thought. Post-partum is no joke and thank goodness for an amazing support system that helped me through some very, very hard days. I stand here today - a new version of myself and feeling like I have a healthy chunk of that Monday video gal back in me. I’ve contemplated for over a year on how to start this BYOJ thing. (I even bought the website URL and design in 2021 and have been paying for it ever since, before I even knew what to do with it. Not that I know now, but at least I’m actively writing. :) ) I used to end my Monday videos with the line, “Be on purpose; lead with love.” Which I still do my best to hold fast to. One day the BYOJ came to me when I told myself I was tired of caring about what other people thought about me. I was never much of one to try to keep up with what someone else was doing, but I definitely cared what they thought about what I was doing. Once I got to a healthy place mentally and could recognize what I was doing to hurt myself - BYOJ came to me. Most of us 40 and over have heard “Keeping up with the Jones’” saying. And if you’re under 40 you’re probably more likely to have heard “Keeping up with the Kardashians.” Either way, it’s a saying that tells us we need to be more like someone else. Or else we need to hold ourselves to the standard they appear to. The more I spent time growing for myself, the more I realized a lot, and I mean A LOT of people are in that boat, especially on social media. People pretend to be something for others to be envious of - it’s overloaded with fake-ness. My final moment of being done with a life of caring about opinions (unnecessary ones) came in a rainstorm in Florida during my son’s nap time. I stood in the yard with my eyes closed and just listened to the rain pelt the trees. It was one of those sounds they must copy for sound machines and apps to help you relax. It was loud and powerful, but it was calm. And I realized no one could get to me, unless I allowed them to. I had the power, the control over who entered that sacred space for me. I opened my eyes and started talking out loud to myself. “Lisa, no one has ever had the power, unless you gave it to them. You are in control of who is allowed in your space.” I started laughing. I was free. I felt on top of the world. It may sound silly to read, but even typing it takes me back to that moment. I literally laugh at the power I used to give to others, that they didn’t even know about and changed absolutely nothing in the universe and everything in my world. I decided it was time to get back to sharing life and growth. I don’t remember exactly how or when BYOJ came to me, but I’ve known for years that was my slogan. (I’m a Jones, so it makes it even more mine. <3 ) Even years before I had my “ah-ha” moment and purchased the website, I created an Instagram page. It’s been in the works, but with no direction. And then it hit me - direction beyond the idea will come when you start moving. So this is me, moving. Searching for direction in purpose within Be Your Own Jones.

Screenshot from my very first Monday video in 2016. Where it all began.